Sarah
The king of the Ammonites, Nahash, died, and his son Hanun took over as king.
David thought to himself:
“Ah, Nahash treated me pretty well before. His old man has passed away, so I’ve gotta show some respect. We can’t be that kind of people.”
So David sent some men to the Ammonites to express his sympathy and comfort Hanun.
But as soon as David’s men arrived in Ammon, the Ammonite officials started whispering in Hanun’s ear:
“Don’t be so naïve! You really think David came here just to comfort your father? I don’t think he’s got good intentions. Maybe he sent these guys here to spy on us and see what we’re up to, so he can come back later and wipe us out!”
Hanun heard this and started getting suspicious:
“What? You think that’s what’s going on?”
What should have been a perfectly normal funeral visit was turned into a big mess by these guys.
Hanun didn’t think it through. He had David’s men arrested, shaved off half of their beards, cut part of their clothes so they were exposed, humiliated them badly, and then sent them away.
This wasn’t just an ordinary insult. Back then, a man’s beard was a matter of great dignity. Shaving off half of it and cutting his clothes like that was basically like climbing onto someone’s neck and pooping on them—you couldn’t humiliate someone much more than that.
When David heard about it, he thought:
“Good grief! What’s wrong with these people? How could they be so rotten?”
But David also knew that when these men came back, they would be terribly embarrassed and upset.
So he sent people to meet them and told them:
“Don’t come back yet. Stay in Jericho. Wait until your beards grow back, then come home. Don’t beat yourselves up over it. This wasn’t your fault.”
Meanwhile, the Ammonites realized:
“Oh no! We’ve really ticked David off this time.”
What should they do?
Instead of thinking about apologizing, they started figuring out how to fight back.
They hired a whole bunch of Arameans and also brought in the king of Maacah and the men of Tob. They gathered a huge army.
The Ammonites also came out and took up positions at the entrance of the city.
The Arameans took up positions somewhere else.
At this point, Joab looked around and thought:
“What are we supposed to do? There are enemies in front of us, and enemies behind us too. They’re trying to wrap us up like dumplings!”
So Joab picked some of the best soldiers and took them to fight the Arameans himself.
He handed the rest of the army over to his brother Abishai and told him to deal with the Ammonites.
Joab also said to Abishai:
“Brother, let’s not try to show off today. If the Arameans start beating me up, you come help me. And if the Ammonites start giving you a hard time, I’ll come help you.
We’ve gotta stand strong today! For our own people and for the city of God, we’ve gotta do what needs to be done.
As for how it all turns out—leave that to the LORD. Whatever happens, happens. We’ll just do what we’re supposed to do!”
Then Joab and his men charged at the Arameans.
As soon as they started fighting, the Arameans took one look and thought:
“Oh man! These Israelites are way too tough!”
And they turned around and ran.
When the Ammonites saw their allies running away, their hearts sank.
“What are we even fighting for? Let’s get out of here!”
So the Ammonites also ran back into the city.
Joab looked at the situation and thought:
“Alright, that’s enough for today.”
So he and his men returned to Jerusalem.
But the Arameans weren’t satisfied.
They went back and discussed it among themselves:
“David beat us this time. We can’t just let this go!”
So they gathered another large army and also called in the Arameans from across the Euphrates River.
This time, they had even more men.
Someone hurried to tell David:
“King David, we’ve got trouble! The Arameans are back!”
David said:
“Alright, then we’re not just gonna sit around at home waiting.”
So David gathered the entire army of Israel and personally led them across the Jordan River.
When they reached Helam, the two sides lined up for battle.
This time, David himself joined the fight.
When the Arameans saw David’s army charging toward them, they started getting nervous again:
“Oh man, there’s no way we can beat these guys!”
And they ran.
David and his men chased them and scattered the Aramean army.
In that battle, David killed the men from seven hundred chariots and forty thousand horsemen of the Arameans, and he also killed Shobach, the commander of the Aramean army.
The Arameans finally said:
“Alright, we really can’t beat these guys.”
So they made peace with Israel. They stopped fighting against David and didn’t dare help the Ammonites anymore.
And that was it. The whole thing was finally settled.